So...
In honour of Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee (here I go again,
sounding all patriotic, WHEN I’M NOT EVEN BRITISH) I’ve decided to make a list
of
5 REASONS WHY I LOVE BRITAIN
Go Britannia, woohoo!
Pic is from the web
Reason#1 History
Britain has a lot of history
It’s just so awesome to live in a place that is full of
history. It’s not just, oh, you know, us Brits have history, in the books… It’s
‘Oh, where did you buy that table? It’s so charming’. And then, the reply
usually goes ‘Oh, got this at the flea market the other day, 18th
century’.
You see!!!! People here don’t have to buy their furniture
from just Ikea, or God forbid, COURTS Mammoth. They can freaking go to the
Sunday flea market and get old, historical furniture at really cheap prices! (or
jewellery/accessories/clothing)
Real life example: Me.
Just last week at Tynemouth Flea Market, I saw a golden flat
case, that looked something like this:
This was going on etsy.com, for $285 (USD). The one I saw as
less elaborate but was a golden colour, metal, and had a simple white
repetitive flower pattern. I fell in love. Looking at it instantly brought this
tune up to my mind. Ever watch The Shining? Yea, that exact tune, the one that
plays at the end when they show you that creepy scene of *Spoiler* Jack in the
picture.
I asked the lady seller: What is this?
Lady Seller: It’s a cigarette case. Circa 1940s.
Me: Oh, thank you *and casually puts it down*.
Inside I am screaming, what a find!!!!!!! It’s been around
since the 1940s, which means, it’s probably seen a world war, and was maybe
carried by some rich English or maybe French tai-tai, and she’s wearing that
1940s slinky dress.
And she’s smoking this long thin cigarette.
Wait, is that 1940s or 1920s? Doesn’t matter. It’s now in my
hands!
And it was going for GBP 10! On etsy, it’s $285. In
Tynemouth, GBP 10! And that’s before haggling.
I didn’t buy it because I wouldn’t know what to do with it.
It’s a cigarette case for 1940s cigarettes for heaven’s sake. I was thinking I
could maybe use it as a ‘tissue paper holder’ but that would be so impractical.
Tissue paper would
just fly out every time I open the case.
This is my historical Victorian warehouse WHICH IS NOW MY
HOUSE by the way. And that is what one of the flats look like (I can’t put my
real flat, privacy issues).
Reason#2 The High Street
Britain has the High Street retailers (and so does Europe)
but I am in Britain, and I think it’s a major plus point when compared to
Malaysia. All we have is.. only some.
They have H&M (we don’t have H&M). H&M is like
the coolest high street retailer there is. They stock all these lovely clothes
for relatively affordable prices. And they have Primark, where you can buy
almost anything for very very low prices. Of course, these items will break
down in a couple of months. But who cares? These stores capitalise on the
modern day consumer capitalist individual’s need to consume! So we, these
modern day consumer capitalists, go buy more stuff!
Now in Malaysia, the fashions come late. And things are more
expensive. And it’s hard to find tops that you really like. So if you want to
be unique and dress only a certain way, that’s going to be really hard. Because
Malaysia is not a shopping mecca like Britain is.
Reason#3 Four Seasons
Britain has four seasons. So do a lot of countries, but
again, I am in Britain. So this is a plus point for me.
Hello? Is that Spring I hear? Come hither my lovely flowery
clothing items, light scarves, light jackets, pinkish things, because it is now
spring and I have an excuse to wear flowery stuff.
Hello? Spring is over, but Summer is here! Come here my
denim shorts and flip flops because it’s summer and I have an excuse to wear
shorts! (I don’t actually wear shorts but this would be what many Brit girls
think in Summer) it’s an excuse to wear shorts. Even if the temperature’s at 10
degrees Celsius…. But I kid you not. You just wanna tell them to put some coats
on. The Brit shorts, I don’t know what fashion this is, but you can see their
bums when they wear it. Thankfully, only teenage girls do this. Oh yes, and
there’s a lot of fake tan going on too.
Oh, Summer’s gone already? (Summer can never go too slowly.
Unfortunately, in Britain, it always seems to go so fast). Oh Hellow my lovely
Autumn! Time to put on my scarves again. And oh, my boots, and yes, my
fingerless gloves! And won’t I look stunning in this cardigan?
And then, Winter! Time for heavier scarves called snoods!
And my leather winter jacket, my ear muffs, thicker gloves, and my Ugg boots!
So, I don’t own any of those. But if I did, that is what I
would be thinking.
You can’t do this in Malaysia. You just can’t. If you do,
you officially brand yourself an outcast. Because a person, wearing a scarf?
And boots? And strutting around in KL? In this hot humid Malaysian weather? Can
you imagine what onlookers would think?
Makcik di tepi jalan: “Tengok kat sana tu... Itulah.. wannabe
nama orang ni… Ingat masih kat Britain. Denial la tu.”
Trendy English educated teenage girl at Pavillion: “Eew,
what a wannabe. Hello? It’s Malaysia. Put some shorts on.”
Lala Luis: (In Cantonese) “Omg! New fashion ah? I must try
oso!”
Reason#4 English Culture
Agatha Christie, Arthur Conan Doyle, Terry Pratchett, Jane
Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Emily Bronte, Douglas Adams, Stephen Hawking, Richard
Dawkins, Sylvia Plath, Phillip Larkin, JK Rowling, Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton to
name a few...
Freddie Mercury, Paul McCartney, RIngo Starr, John Lennon,
Florence Welch, Elton John, Sid Vicious, err... Thomas Tallis? You can tell, I
read more than I listen to music.
Alexander McQueen and err... Sarah Burton? (I know even less about fashion)
Queen Elizabeth.
What do all these people have in common??????
Yes, they are British! Is it cool to be British or what? I
can honestly say that Agatha Christie and Enid Blyton formed my childhood.
Without them, I wouldn't have had the sweet memories I now have, of cuddling up
next to my giant toy English Bulldog (which I didn’t know was English, I only
knew it as ‘bulldog’) and reading all these lovely books. I am so sentimental
about them. I could cry. If my house was on fire, after saving all the
necessary items, I would save my books.
So thank you Dame Christie and Mrs Blyton (although you were
portrayed as a mean person in a movie made about you). You have given me…. My childhood.
And to you Sir Pratchett, you gave me… my teenage years.
And to you Ms Austen and Ms Brontes…. You gave me… a way to
fill up my time when I was bored.
And to you Mr Hawking and Mr Dawkins… You gave me… for
Hawking, a very interesting piece of work, and for Dawkins… it was fun watching
you debate with Archbishop Rowan Williams in Cambridge. I watched the recorded
stream. I wasn’t actually there.
And to you, Phillip Larkin...You gave me... A philosophy.
I love you guys. . All of you (writers only).
Reason#5 Britain is near Europe
Feeling peckish for some lapin stew? No worries, hop onto
the next Ryanair flight and in one hour, you’re in Paris.
Want to see der opera which dee Wagner has written? No
worries, Ryanair flight will take you to Berlin in two hours.
Want to eat some Godiva chocolates? No worries, order from
Belgium and the van will drive all the way up to Britain to send it to you.
Want some patatas bravas and to see the Sagrada Familia? Ryanair
to Barcelona… two hours.
And finally, my favouritest city in the whole world… want to
listen to a Mozart salon concert played by some excellent violinists in a very
old concert room? Ryanair takes you to Vienna…. Must be less than three hours.
I travelled from Munich by train, so I don’t know how long exactly by air.
Get what I’m saying? Europe, at your doorstep!
Therefore, everybody... Visit Britain!
HM Government should be paying me something for the
promotion I’m doing with this blog post.
